The Federal Republic of Tellieland is a gargantuan, safe nation, remarkable for its national health service, rampant corporate plagiarism, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 11.413 billion Tellielandians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tellielandia. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tellielandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,466 trillion Euros a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 216,077 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home, stores employing more than 100 employees are required to be at least twenty miles from any competitor, exported livestock are wined and dined before they are flat ironed, and heartfelt sentiments are mercilessly marketed by a million-Euro treacle machine. Crime is totally unknown. Tellieland's national animal is the Tellielandosaurusrex, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tellieland is ranked 289,617^th in the world and 3^rd in Kilisis for Most Primitive, scoring -653.11 on the Scary Big Number Scale.