The Peoples Kingdom Commonwealth of Tea Island Systems is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by King Colcag the First with an even hand, and remarkable for its lack of airports, public floggings, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, devout population of 11.11 billion TISers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tea Town. The average income tax rate is 91.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tea Island Systemsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,852 trillion Coral Coin and Beach Rubleses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 166,717 Coral Coin and Beach Rubleses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government regularly publishes lengthy reports on its own excessive recordkeeping, future leaders of Tea Island Systems regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview, internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens, and being sent to collections is more dangerous than ever. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Island Systems's national animal is the TIS Antler Dangle Bandit Ferret, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Wave run corals.

Tea Island Systems is ranked 260,840^th in the world and 33^rd in Aurora for Most Primitive, scoring -191.55 on the Scary Big Number Scale.