The Kingdom of Siimyardo is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Simon III with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ban on automobiles, and infamous sell-swords. The compassionate, devout population of 2.739 billion Siimyards are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jokiirod. The average income tax rate is 80.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Siimyardo economy, worth 333 trillion florins a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 121,787 florins, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Artists attempt to convince the Hardship Fund that their unmade bed is a masterpiece, children aren't allowed to chew their pencils until they get home from school, photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls, and the government loves seeing the little people fight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Siimyardo's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Siimyard Orthodox Church.

Siimyardo is ranked 25,512^th in the world and 3^rd in Alemannia for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 6,247.13 on the Gilded Widget Scale.