The Unicorn Captain of Shining Armor is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Kyorgia Kyosson-Vonimof with an even hand, and renowned for its avant-garde cinema, public floggings, and frequent executions. The compassionate, devout population of 15.855 billion Shining Armorians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oslo. The average income tax rate is 35.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Shining Armorian economy, worth 673 trillion Bits a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 42,481 Bits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Giraffes with strange deformities like three eyes and tentacles have been seen prancing through the countryside where industrial waste is dumped, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, public projects are synonymous with yawn-inducing conformity, and ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Shining Armor's national animal is the Giraffe and its national religion is Den Norske Kirke.

Shining Armor is ranked 76,932^nd in the world and 1^st in Canterlot for Most Corrupt Governments, with 22.16 kickbacks per hour.