The Queendom of Schmarotzer is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 11.924 billion Schmarotzerians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Spirituality, with Law & Order and Defense also on the agenda, while Welfare isn't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.1%.

The strong Schmarotzerian economy, worth 599 trillion betales a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 50,236 betales, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

Genetic researchers have been expelled, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, and citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Schmarotzer's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Schmarotzer is ranked 148,489^th in the world and 5^th in Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic for Most Primitive, scoring -53.39 on the Scary Big Number Scale.