The State of Salmon Naason is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 35.022 billion Salmon Naasonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Central Heights. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The thriving Salmon Naasonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,234 trillion betales a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 35,248 betales, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 227,177 per year while the poor average 2,209, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Surveillance cameras are banned, Salmon Naason is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes, and Salmon Naason has designated Central Heights as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Salmon Naason's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Salmon Naason is ranked 78,675^th in the world and 171^st in Ancient Lands for Most Primitive, scoring 29.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.