The United socialist Provinces of Red Ion is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Chancellor Ivan Viss with an even hand, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 11.205 billion Red Ionians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karl city. The average income tax rate is 50.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Red Ionian economy, worth a remarkable 1,023 trillion Ion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Retail. Average income is 91,323 Ion Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Every worker receives exactly the same pay regardless of productivity, the government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned, the nation's beloved 'good-natured doormat' is inundated by begging letters, and the nation has an international reputation for compassion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Red Ion's national animal is the horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Zal.

Red Ion is ranked 238,174^th in the world and 2^nd in Deep Storage for Most Primitive, scoring -121.26 on the Scary Big Number Scale.