The Cyan-Depleted Cartridges of Printer769 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its closed borders, anti-smoking policies, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 5.414 billion Printer769ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer769ian economy, worth 777 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 143,570 cards, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, the "right of sanctuary" stops police pursuit into temples and churches, matryoshka dolls resembling nested Death Stars are commonly sold, and five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer769's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer769 is ranked 20,475^th in the world and 1,877^th in Two for Most Corrupt Governments, with 98.78 kickbacks per hour.