The Confederated Fortress-Cities of Artyolae is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Alesi Artyo with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, otherworldly petting zoo, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.255 billion Artyolaeans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fortress-City of Artyo. The average income tax rate is 91.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Artyolaean economy, worth 984 trillion Octs a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 135,755 Octs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, rumor has it that Alesi Artyo has won three lotteries in a row, religious citizens are closely monitored for signs of self-harm, and one can wake up in Artyolae and have breakfast in Bigtopia. Crime is totally unknown. Artyolae's national animal is the Horned Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Satanic Temple.

Artyolae is ranked 285,990^th in the world and 6,149^th in The North Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -15.45 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.