The Republic of Nova Christianum is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President John Davis with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.054 billion Nova Christiani are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry are also considered important, while Education and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of City of His Holiness Christ Jesus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Nova Christiania economy, worth a remarkable 3,682 trillion Novum dollars a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 305,474 Novum dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,991,835 per year while the poor average 18,541, a ratio of 107 to 1.

Cheese lovers have a case of the bleus, Jennifer Government is banned, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner, and Nova Christiania companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Nova Christianum's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Church of Nova Christianum.

Nova Christianum is ranked 285,053^rd in the world and 23^rd in Osakaland for Safest, scoring 3.14 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.