The Kingdom of Neo Valencia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Kane with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, enslaved workforce, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.665 billion Valencians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Florenza. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Valencian economy, worth 868 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 130,242 Crowns, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 734,670 per year while the poor average 11,361, a ratio of 64.7 to 1.

Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, citizens who don't recite the Pledge of Neo Valencia at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list, escargots have lost their charm ever since they started to be called 'cooked land snails', and construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neo Valencia's national animal is the Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Neo Valencia is ranked 176,684^th in the world and 2^nd in Clockworks for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.