The Snarky BBD Puppet of Lord Crayfish is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Hector Barbossa with an even hand, and notable for its closed borders, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 8.865 billion Crayfisheses are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Deep Dive. The average income tax rate is 69.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lord Crayfishian economy, worth a remarkable 1,048 trillion Scubas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Tourism, Trout Farming, Furniture Restoration, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 118,280 Scubas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways, the tenet of free speech is held dear, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government, and traffic jams are a common sight due to construction work from a massive overhaul of the nation's freeways. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lord Crayfish's national animal is the Diver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Crabbing.

Lord Crayfish is ranked 259,129^th in the world and 1^st in ANTI BBD for Most Patriotic, with 1.32 flags saluted per person per day.