The Brand-New of Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bob Dylan with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, smutty television, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 8.853 billion Hats are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Hat Emporium. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hatian economy, worth a remarkable 1,034 trillion pill-box hats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 116,805 pill-box hats, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

People who get diabetes can sue donut manufacturers, families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, saying that someone looks a bit pale can be construed as hate speech, and it's not only teenagers who mess around with fake IDs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat's national animal is the leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is checking if it's real.

Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat is ranked 39,747^th in the world and 220^th in Stereo Hearts for Lowest Crime Rates, with 77.8 law-abiding acts per hour.