The Republic of Mestov is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Alden Rossi with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.271 billion Mestovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valence. The average income tax rate is 75.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mestovian economy, worth 911 trillion Vineroes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 172,911 Vineroes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Meat-eating is frowned upon, the freedom to be free is always just out of reach, party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mestov's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mestov is ranked 42,073^rd in the world and 637^th in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 31.26 flags saluted per person per day.