The United Commonwealth of Kinegiener is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by King Dovy Jucevičiu I with an even hand, and notable for its aversion to nipples, keen interest in outer space, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 10.142 billion Lithuanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Vilnius. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Lithuanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,129 trillion Litas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 209,935 Litas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Undersea volcanoes receive strongly worded letters for violating environmental regulations, statistics show that terrorists often come from broken families, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why King Dovy Jucevičiu I is a silly poophead, and murderers facing life in prison listen to long sermons on positive thinking. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kinegiener's national animal is the Iron Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Romuva.

Kinegiener is ranked 1,243^rd in the world and 5^th in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Safest, scoring 158.47 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.