The Hidden Undergound Lair of Gnomewatchers is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Gnomad with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, aversion to nipples, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 31.951 billion Gnomes are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gnomeria. The average income tax rate is 88.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Gnomeian economy, worth a remarkable 3,395 trillion crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 106,259 crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Kids looking for shark teeth have become ancient history, every politician claims to be at least 1% Native Gnomeian, election ballot papers are so long that unused ones are recycled as toilet roll, and brave curators do battle with disorganised government libraries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gnomewatchers's national animal is the garden gnome, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gnomewatchers is ranked 9,502^nd in the world and 1^st in Shiloh for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,640.61 pounds of wildlife per square mile.