The Scared Baby of Frowny John is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 8.895 billion Frowny Johnians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 43.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Frowny Johnian economy, worth 85.7 trillion Pickleses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Automobile Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 9,630 Pickleses, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Frowny John's national animal is the Teddy.

Frowny John is ranked 114,619^th in the world and 11^th in Hells Daycare for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.21 law-abiding acts per hour.