The Free Land of FreeFood is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Joel Robuchon with an iron fist, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, triple-decker prams, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.657 billion FreeFoodians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bon Appétit. The average income tax rate is 67.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient FreeFoodian economy, worth 369 trillion Green Pepper Tofus a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 101,074 Green Pepper Tofus, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, Mona Lola's famous mysterious smile is being altered to resemble Joel Robuchon's enigmatic grin, billions of Green Pepper Tofus are spent to take high-quality photos of the The Black Hawks Nebula, and promising seven years of bad luck leads to seven years of community service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. FreeFood's national animal is the The Black Hawks, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Eat Eat.

FreeFood is ranked 199,047^th in the world and 258^th in The Black Hawks for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -1.97 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.