The Dictatorship of Estonian Crown is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Ducktador with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, unlimited-speed roads, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.226 billion Estonian Crownians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thirtenth city. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Estonian crown economy, worth 140 trillion Champs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 114,967 Champs, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Stage mothers commonly give their children the nickname 'Cash', most pop videos prominently feature the Estonian crown flag, no-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium, and children have one piggy bank for fun and another to avoid crippling medical debt. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Estonian Crown's national animal is the duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Militarian.

Estonian Crown is ranked 278,301^st in the world and 18^th in United Christian Countries for Nicest Citizens, with 0.41 average smiles per day.