The Republic of Emergency Puppet is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 10.276 billion Emergency Puppetians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 71.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Emergency Puppetian economy, worth a remarkable 1,581 trillion lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 153,938 lire, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy, soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets, the government spends millions of lire every year prosecuting spammers, and there's a bright dawn ahead for Emergency Puppet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Emergency Puppet's national animal is the sheep, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Emergency Puppet is ranked 249,418^th in the world and 369^th in Emergency Puppet for Most Primitive, scoring -149.91 on the Scary Big Number Scale.