The United Kingdom of Luxemstein is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Alexander Hamilton with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 3.581 billion Luxemstanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arstotzka. The average income tax rate is 81.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Luxemstanian economy, worth 511 trillion Stanians a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,905 Stanians, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Single celebrities have to repeatedly prove their chastity to avoid being married off to infatuated fans, children's TV shows are having a gay old time, soldiers are equipped with multi-million Stanian battlesuits, and engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Luxemstein's national animal is the Ocelot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is MatPatheism.

Luxemstein is ranked 67,685^th in the world and 1,268^th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,529.44 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.