The State of Consola is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by The Grand Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, infamous sell-swords, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.169 billion Consolans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Environment are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Congrad. The average income tax rate is 34.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Consolan economy, worth 387 trillion Colivares a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 122,362 Colivares, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Consolans believe the only thing that will make you happy is being unhappy with who you are, left-wing militias train children how to properly burn down banks, getting a haircut is a punishable offence, and the military is researching proton packs and PK-meters to combat "unseen enemy forces". Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Consola's national animal is the Consolan Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Consola is ranked 264,867^th in the world and 2^nd in Consol Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -211.9 on the Scary Big Number Scale.