The Dainheim of Condain is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Hákonungur Eolande with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 15.522 billion Dain Faes are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Spirituality are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Glóavið. The average income tax rate is 93.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Condainian economy, worth a remarkable 1,297 trillion silfur flís a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 83,601 silfur flís, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The song 'They Got an Awful Lot of Coffee in Condain' is a smash hit, the government-sponsored autobiography 'A Hákonungur Eolande For All Seasons' has only been bought by the most loyal of Hákonungur Eolande's supporters, atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, and the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Condain's national animal is the Glow Spirte, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ljósið.

Condain is ranked 161,869^th in the world and 31^st in The Hole To Hide In for Most Primitive, scoring -60.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.