The Democratic Republic of Eylstadt Izetta is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Ortfiné Finé Fredericka von Eylstadt with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.467 billion Eylstadt Izettans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Landsbruck. The average income tax rate is 26.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eylstadt Izettan economy, worth 598 trillion Jins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 134,084 Jins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Nobody draws smiley faces on receipts anymore, children's bedrooms are often decorated with posters of successful accountants, auditors are gutting every governmental department, and the government's economic policy is "sort it yourself". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Eylstadt Izetta's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Izetta.

Eylstadt Izetta is ranked 110,503^rd in the world and 2,455^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,264.76 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.