The Colony of Cheese is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by MrCheese with an iron fist, and notable for its state-planned economy, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 22.714 billion Cheeseans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chedar City. The average income tax rate is 71.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cheesean economy, worth a remarkable 3,256 trillion Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 143,348 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Tourists visit Cheese to mass-moon Cheesean politicians, military parades quietly tiptoe their way through the streets, an aboriginal talking stick is used for leaders' debates at election time, and citizens who refuse to vote are guillotined. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cheese's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Cheese is ranked 283,042^nd in the world and 199^th in Nederland for Most Beautiful Environments, with 4.9 pounds of wildlife per square mile.