The Protectorate of Cards of Eagles 4 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Defenderville with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avant-garde cinema, sprawling nuclear power plants, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.014 billion Cards of Eagles 4ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Administration, although Defense, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Defenderville. The average income tax rate is 48.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Cards of Eagles 4ian economy, worth 611 trillion francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 76,304 francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Cards of Eagles 4 flights to avoid the pay lavatories, the military struggles with recruitment, the government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash, and most believe it doesn't hurt to embrace free trade. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cards of Eagles 4's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Defenderism.

Cards of Eagles 4 is ranked 4,933^rd in the world and 3^rd in Christmas for Most Primitive, scoring 124.39 on the Scary Big Number Scale.