The Queen's State of Canada First is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 28.227 billion Canada Firstians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The tiny, outspoken government prioritizes Welfare, with Education, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Defense are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The very strong Canada Firstian economy, worth a remarkable 1,366 trillion betales a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is 48,403 betales, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Voting is voluntary and the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Canada First's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Canada First is ranked 173,485^th in the world and 6^th in Ottawa for Most Primitive, scoring -66.71 on the Scary Big Number Scale.