The 5th Republic of C-Simphlistica is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Ahole Donny Cheeto with an iron fist, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, fear of technology, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 9.117 billion C-Simphlisticans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dimaginaree. The average income tax rate is 61.7%.

The frighteningly efficient C-Simphlistican economy, worth 852 trillion kronor a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,490 kronor, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Talking during class is a gateway to lifelong drug addiction, the long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand, chain-gangs are often seen toting barges and lifting bales, and gigantic marble churches take up almost half the land area of small villages. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. C-Simphlistica's national animal is the bison, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Nullism.

C-Simphlistica is ranked 28,791^st in the world and 92^nd in The Regected Realns for Most Corrupt Governments, with 74.97 kickbacks per hour.