The Commonwealth of Beginners is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Cat Stevens with an even hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.415 billion Beginnersians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Edenopolis. The average income tax rate is 52.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Beginnersian economy, worth 172 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is 31,906 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors, pro-wrestling bouts open with a legal disclaimer insisting that any violence is guaranteed 100% faked, war criminals are given full state funerals, and every week is blindness awareness week. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beginners's national animal is the kangaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Musical magnum.

Beginners is ranked 182,489^th in the world and 1^st in Exists for Most Corrupt Governments, with 2.62 kickbacks per hour.