The Holy empire of Ballardtopia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by God king with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, infamous sell-swords, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.385 billion Ballardtopians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sparta. The average income tax rate is 98.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Ballardtopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,502 trillion Bloods of enemies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 391,894 Bloods of enemies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals, prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up, couch potatoes are considered to be model citizens, and relatives of recent award winners find their trophies make stylish urns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ballardtopia's national animal is the Cujo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Ballardism.

Ballardtopia is ranked 86,245^th in the world and 3,932^nd in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 313.42 on the Clooney Contribution Index.