The People's Commissary of Armyansk is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by the Vorrangiger Anführer with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, sprawling nuclear power plants, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.196 billion Armyanskians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Perekop. The average income tax rate is 88.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Armyanskian economy, worth 752 trillion Kriimarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 144,907 Kriimarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, industry leaders commend the government for enacting an emissions reduction strategy that reduces no Armyanskian emissions at all, parking's carefree without parking car fees, and citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Armyansk's national animal is the Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Armyansk is ranked 284,433^rd in the world and 10,938^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -420.51 on the Scary Big Number Scale.