The Republic of Alerple Val is a gargantuan, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 11.668 billion Alerple Valians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Public Transport. The average income tax rate is 43.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Alerple Valian economy, worth 156 trillion guilders a year, is quite specialized and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 13,424 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is now illegal for teens to view any sites except Club Kitten and My Little Donkey, the government is reining in public spending, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, and gambling is outlawed. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Alerple Val's national animal is the elephant, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Alerple Val is ranked 110,058^th in the world and 1^st in The Pollaetorian Guard for Most Primitive, scoring -26.46 on the Scary Big Number Scale.