The Empire of Alchetonia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Alche with a fair hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 8.3 billion Alchetonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alchetonia. The average income tax rate is 51.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alchetonian economy, worth 895 trillion Alchenions a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 107,904 Alchenions, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Prominent cultural symbols are featured on the backs of cereal boxes, career advisors ask sociopathic orphan girls if they have considered becoming professional assassins, government fact-checkers use surprising amounts of high explosive, and sushi just hasn't been the same since salmon went extinct overnight. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alchetonia's national animal is the Smallbird, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Alchetonia is ranked 266,407^th in the world and 483^rd in Sophia for Most Primitive, scoring -219.47 on the Scary Big Number Scale.