The Qadiani Punjabis of Ahmadiyyastan is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Farooq Ali Khan with an even hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, public floggings, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 7.934 billion Ahmadis are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lahore. The average income tax rate is 85.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ahmadi economy, worth a remarkable 1,650 trillion rupees a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 207,987 rupees, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

No animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it, musicians are often arrested for saying "oh my God", stockbrokers dream of getting rich by writing textbooks, and citizens must have a license to operate a computer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ahmadiyyastan's national animal is the urial, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Ahmadiyya.

Ahmadiyyastan is ranked 11,491^st in the world and 7^th in Pecan Sandies for Lowest Crime Rates, with 98.6 law-abiding acts per hour.