The Disputed Territories of 90069 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its aversion to nipples, infamous sell-swords, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.397 billion 90069ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.8%.

The frighteningly efficient 90069ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,996 trillion 9003s a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 192,042 9003s, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 723,133 per year while the poor average 35,563, a ratio of 20.3 to 1.

Calling dibs is an unalienable right, the official 90069ian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, sleep-deprived officials are known to collapse after late night revision for their examinations, and politicians stage photo ops featuring barely functional fighter jets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. 90069's national animal is the 9003, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

90069 is ranked 257,969^th in the world and 1^st in What on earth is this26 for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -8.2 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.