The Colony of 80386 is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by The McLeader with an even hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 2.967 billion 80386ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 24.5%.

The very strong 80386ian economy, worth 186 trillion microchips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 62,885 microchips, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, the might of the entire 80386ian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders, atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, and school lessons are constantly interrupted by 'teacher needs a break' time. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. 80386's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Flying Spaghetti Monster.

80386 is ranked 148,945^th in the world and 4^th in Anarchic Lands for Largest Populations, with 2.97 billion capita.