The Republic of -Astoria- is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.767 billion Astorians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 73.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Astorian economy, worth 938 trillion pynts a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 96,074 pynts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cremation is compulsory for the deceased, populations of two-headed bubo buboes have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites, skateparks can be found in every city, and the fire protection service is wholly government-funded. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -Astoria-'s national animal is the bubo bubo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

-Astoria- is ranked 265,029^th in the world and 8^th in Council of Constructed Languages for Most Primitive, scoring -210.55 on the Scary Big Number Scale.