by Max Barry

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«12. . .41,11941,12041,12141,12241,12341,12441,125. . .79,58679,587»

Kampf Empire wrote:
Good Afternoon, all you little bastards.

I have some grim, and fantastic news. As you may or may not know, every six months, the magical barriers that keep Santa Kampf locked in his ice cave in both my mind and in TEP weaken enough to allow him to escape for a night of drinking, murder, and overall tomfoolery.

However, due to the bad vibes of 2020, things have shaped up.....differently. The barrier for next month is going to collapse, and Santa Kampf will have free reign to ride for the full month. Every. Single. Day.

So, y'all better behave before you catch an axe to the face.

Good day, and Happy Holidays,

OOC Kampf

P.S.,

I'll add his list as he makes it. If you get pinged, learn to make eggnog.

XOXOWOXO

The List:

Read dispatch

Yeah. Also,

GIVE ME IDEAS ON WHO TO PUNISH DURING JUNE

Hmmm

Azureano and Danelaw have had overdue appointments with Santa Kampf.

Kampf Empire and Osterreich und ungarn

The Sygarian Regime wrote:"Oh please I am not that EVIL or barbaric. I will give you an position within Hydra as an very important person possible "Doctor-General of Hydra"! And your government officials will become part of Hydra as well. And all your territories will be ceded to The Hydrian State."

“We will not stand for any loss of sovereignty. ArenaC stands free forever. No questions asked. I may oppose the INC sometimes but you took down their main action-taker. I sort-of-not-really thank you for it. So really we’re just sitting ducks. So in the unlikelihood I do stand down you can have them also. But until you tell me what your purpose for being is, and I see any reason to give in, I’m still here.”

Osterreich und ungarn and The Sygarian Regime

Isanastivia

Technocratic tagalog Aldenbourg Distro-Spartica

King Albert IV sends his troops into Aldenbourg’s colony on the northern border of Isanastivia to occupy. He also sends his navy to blockade the coasts of Aldenbourg to cut off reinforcments and trade. King Albert sends Leopold of Oudenburg a letter.

Dearest Leopold of Oudenberg
“I have sent my army to occupy your colony and I do indeed intend to annex the territory. I’ll give you two options, give the territory to its rightful ruler, or its war. The choice is yours, make a smart one.”
-King Albert IV of Isanastivia

Sorry if it’s bad I’m not really in the rping mood rn

The Sygarian Regime, Distro-Spartica, Technocratic tagalog, and Aldenbourg

Kampf Empire I thought we were on the list because of our less than friendly relationship with Bangladesh well they just ignore us but we hate them

The Sygarian Regime wrote:"Oh please I am not that EVIL or barbaric. I will give you an position within Hydra as an very important person possible "Doctor-General of Hydra"! And your government officials will become part of Hydra as well. And all your territories will be ceded to The Hydrian State."

Merlovich

Isn't that against the rules?

ArenaC wrote:“We will not stand for any loss of sovereignty. ArenaC stands free forever. No questions asked. I may oppose the INC sometimes but you took down their main action-taker. I sort-of-not-really thank you for it. So really we’re just sitting ducks. So in the unlikelihood I do stand down you can have them also. But until you tell me what your purpose for being is, and I see any reason to give in, I’m still here.”

Reminder that you don't have to agree to any terms.

The Sygarian Regime and Isanastivia

Isanastivia wrote:Technocratic tagalog Aldenbourg Distro-Spartica

King Albert IV sends his troops into Aldenbourg’s colony on the northern border of Isanastivia to occupy. He also sends his navy to blockade the coasts of Aldenbourg to cut off reinforcments and trade. King Albert sends Leopold of Oudenburg a letter.

“Dearest Leopold of Oudenberg
I have sent my army to occupy your colony and I do indeed intend to annex the territory. I’ll give you two options, give the territory to its rightful ruler, or its war. The choice is yours, make a smart one.
-King Albert IV of Isanastivia

Sorry if it’s bad I’m not really in the rping mood rn

This news gets to ArenaC, and it seems the INC has fallen for good. ...isn’t Alden part of INC? IDK anymore. Where even are we?

Distro-Spartica, Technocratic tagalog, and Isanastivia

Aivintis wrote:

Reminder that you don't have to agree to any terms.

Well, ArenaC doesn’t stand a chance against a nuclear superpower.

Osterreich und ungarn

Aivintis wrote:Isn't that against the rules?
Reminder that you don't have to agree to any terms.

Oh, this is interesting, just let them rp.

Osterreich und ungarn wrote:Oh, this is interesting, just let them rp.

I second this.

Hail HYDRA

Osterreich und ungarn

Levantin wrote:I second this.

Hail HYDRA

What?

Isanastivia

So when I blockade I cut off trade right?
If so sorry every one trading with Aldenbourg.

Technocratic tagalog

ArenaC wrote:Well, ArenaC doesn’t stand a chance against a nuclear superpower.

Nukes are restricted.

Osterreich und ungarn wrote:Oh, this is interesting, just let them rp.

Carry on then.

Don't say no one warned you.

Osterreich und ungarn and DarKspawnerreich

Isanastivia wrote:So when I blockade I cut off trade right?

I believe so yes.

The Sygarian Regime:

AC has proclaimed he will not accept to any deals short of the “no else action will be taken and all will remain as it is, with Hydra paying reparation for the obliteration of the capital.”

Osterreich und ungarn, DarKspawnerreich, Technocratic tagalog, and Isanastivia

ArenaC wrote:What?

Sorry I have a habit of propping up like minded insane dictatorships.

Wiranath, Technocratic tagalog, and Isanastivia

Osterreich und ungarn

When there’s a bunch of crazy sh*t going on but your one remaining active ally isn’t on.

ArenaC wrote:“We will not stand for any loss of sovereignty. ArenaC stands free forever. No questions asked. I may oppose the INC sometimes but you took down their main action-taker. I sort-of-not-really thank you for it. So really we’re just sitting ducks. So in the unlikelihood I do stand down you can have them also. But until you tell me what your purpose for being is, and I see any reason to give in, I’m still here.”

"I admire your loyalty to your commonwealth."

The Hydrian Army continues to push through Arenite lands so far without any opposition. One decently sized force occupies an medium sized Arenite town to the North. They immediately set up Hydrian rule as an Hydra flag flies over its town hall.

Soon after a while the New Regime offers recruitment and citizenship to Arenite civilians.

Technocratic tagalog

So if nukes are becoming normalized by HYDRA... doesn't that give me a much more solid defense against western coalitions?

Nah, I'm not gae. Nukes are gae.

Osterreich und ungarn and DarKspawnerreich

Hoi4 The New Order makes our timeline look like God's perfect paradise

Danelaw Scandinavia, Osterreich und ungarn, and Levantin

Wladyslaw sits alone in his chamber, tears pour down like rain in thunderstorms. He looks at his axe adorned with a precious gem. He knows that in order to beat his determined brother he must kill him. He knows he cant share any Witty remarks like he and Alfred did because he needs that throne and Charles will not give in easily. The horn sounds and he walks out of his chambers into the arena.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OvV82-KAR1E

Charles looks ahead at his Brother, Wladyslaw's almost emotionless eyes except for anger. Charles keeps his eyes locked with Wladyslaw's knowing that he must be focused on this fight and not his own feelings. Charles holds the sword that his Brother made, the Brother that he might kill or the brother that will kill Charles. Wladyslaw eventually adverts his eyes to the axe in his hands, the axe that holds the precious gem Charles gave him. The horn sounds and the 2 starts running towards eachother.

Charles lwapa colliding with the handle of Wladyslaw's axe before getting thrown away. Both of their eyes filled with sorrow and anger. Wladyslaw throws himself with the axe at Charles but charles manages to use his shield to hold the axe off and to send Wladyslaw off. The clouds above them turns to black and rain starts to steadily fall.

The 2 brothers clash, axe on sword as the sounds of rain and metal clashing fills the arena. Wladyslaw goes to chop Charles's ankles of but he flips over Wladyslaw and goes for the attack but Wladyslaw quickly turned his axe around to parry the hit. As the 2 fight the rain covers up their tears even if they are both wearing helmets. Charles goes in full force to slash Wladyslaw just as Wladyslaw went in full force with his axe. The 2 weapons collided just as thunder slammed down, a couple miles out. The 2 brothers look eye to eye with rage as the 2 brothers are forced back by the intensity of the strike. The 2 brothers take their stances as they go in to continue this battle that will decide Scandinavia's fate and possibly....the..

The World...

Technocratic tagalog
Stellar Colonies
Dreamersistan
Azureano
Distro-Spartica
Aivintis
DarKspawnerreich
Karatol-Advenra
Aldenbourg

Osterreich und ungarn

DarKspawnerreich wrote:Hoi4 The New Order makes our timeline look like God's perfect paradise

That is unless you manage to get Nixon elected to 16+ terms in office.

The Sygarian Regime wrote:"I admire your loyalty to your commonwealth."

The Hydrian Army continues to push through Arenite lands so far without any opposition. One decently sized force occupies an medium sized Arenite town to the North. They immediately set up Hydrian rule as an Hydra flag flies over its town hall.
Soon after a while the New Regime offers recruitment and citizenship to Arenite civilians.

“I admire your incorporation of land that isn’t yours as your Nazist heaven.

How can you see all that blood and feel joy?

Osterreich und ungarn

More satellite imagery comes in of Hydra troops marching into ArenaC, yet the cabinet fails to come to a conclusive decision on what to due, mainly due to the lack of the Kaiser and of the questioning of the acting chancellor’s powers as a mere acting official.

Osterreich und ungarn wrote:That is unless you manage to get Nixon elected to 16+ terms in office.

As much as I may like that idea. The world is so fvcked in TNO that assuming America does come out on top, there will be an unfathomable amount of problems it'll have to deal with.

Danelaw Scandinavia and Osterreich und ungarn

ArenaC wrote:“I admire your incorporation of land that isn’t yours as your Nazist heaven.

How can you see all that blood and feel joy?

"I do not feel joy from this. I offered you an chance to join me. Help rebuild an true Nonscio under true rule. It is a shame you refused. Now we must take everything by force"

Isanastivia wrote:Technocratic tagalog Aldenbourg Distro-Spartica

King Albert IV sends his troops into Aldenbourg’s colony on the northern border of Isanastivia to occupy. He also sends his navy to blockade the coasts of Aldenbourg to cut off reinforcments and trade. King Albert sends Leopold of Oudenburg a letter.

Dearest Leopold of Oudenberg
“I have sent my army to occupy your colony and I do indeed intend to annex the territory. I’ll give you two options, give the territory to its rightful ruler, or its war. The choice is yours, make a smart one.”
-King Albert IV of Isanastivia

Sorry if it’s bad I’m not really in the rping mood rn

The Knights Legionnar sail their naval forces to the east to assist their kind neighbor, sent with one objective; Engage only when the first shot is heard. Two hundred caravels, two hundred frigates, and two hundred galleons load their supply, polish the Dardanelles Guns, lift the anchor, and raise the Legionnar's cross.

Meanwhile, scouts on horseback set up a system in the north to stay on the lookout for Aldenbourgish troops, in the event the homeland is invaded. Scouts are sent in a straight line to all directions. If any of them are killed, they will fail to report in, and the imperial army will send troops to defend that direction accordingly. A similar system has been implemented with remaining caravels in the nearby seas.

The Knights Legionnar officially side with Isanastivia in their endeavors.

Technocratic tagalog, Aldenbourg, and Isanastivia

«12. . .41,11941,12041,12141,12241,12341,12441,125. . .79,58679,587»

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