by Max Barry

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«12. . .4,1344,1354,1364,1374,1384,1394,140. . .5,0685,069»

Brocklandia wrote:*Glances at the clock* Mm, I think the last time was an hour ago? I never pay much attention to such things unless they feature nekkid people and a tub of Kool-Whip.

Napkins, anyone?

Hmmm. Say, I think I heard something about Channel 1 offering ad space. Maybe you should buy some?

*A goblin walks in, climbs upon a bar stool, and starts studying the menu.*

"Excuse me, I'd love me a nice cup of tea. What flavors do you offer?"

Mindon wrote:Hmmm. Say, I think I heard something about Channel 1 offering ad space. Maybe you should buy some?

Pass.

Gneemo wrote:*A goblin walks in, climbs upon a bar stool, and starts studying the menu.*
"Excuse me, I'd love me a nice cup of tea. What flavors do you offer?"

Beats me. We have an elephant-sized box of tea, including elephant flavored, so we probably have whatever you want. Let's see ... Jasmine ... Carburetor ... Moldy dish towel ... Any of those flavors sound good?

Brocklandia wrote:Beats me. We have an elephant-sized box of tea, including elephant flavored, so we probably have whatever you want. Let's see ... Jasmine ... Carburetor ... Moldy dish towel ... Any of those flavors sound good?

"Moldy dish towel? Fabulous. Does it come with a cookie?"

Brocklandia wrote:Pass.

Allright. I think their phone number is 1-800-ADVERTISE if you change your mind.

Channel 1 presenter reappears
Good evening, morning, afternoon, or whatever time it is for you listeners. Today we have a new offering, we would have presented it yesterday but due to the whole locked media room incident we were rendered unable to. We now present this new thing we are presenting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6g7Vm82W2w

Gneemo wrote:*A goblin walks in, climbs upon a bar stool, and starts studying the menu.*

Gneemo wrote:"Moldy dish towel? Fabulous. Does it come with a cookie?"

The mold in this fine establishment is first rate. An excellent choice.

Welcome, goblin friend.

*hands moldy cookie*

Gneemo wrote:"Moldy dish towel? Fabulous. Does it come with a cookie?"

Well, we're not sure what this is, but sure, we can call it a "cookie."\\

*Delivers a cup of moldy dish towel tea and the "cookie."*

I'd let Duncan the delivery doggo bring it over, but ze isn't so good with liquids. Plus ze tends to droop in them--which probably improves the flavor, and that sets a bad precedent.

Mindon wrote:Channel 1 presenter reappears
Good evening, morning, afternoon, or whatever time it is for you listeners. Today we have a new offering, we would have presented it yesterday but due to the whole locked media room incident we were rendered unable to. We now present this new thing we are presenting.

Have you considered talking to a few dozen therapists about this pervading paranoia of yours?

Mindon wrote:Allright. I think their phone number is 1-800-ADVERTISE if you change your mind.

That phone number takes me to a recording of a breathless woman asking me to leave all my credit card numbers if I'm looking for a good time. I think I'll pass.

*Zombies drag away Bumfu and Levallois*

Some random interviewer

Forest

Good day everyone,

it's a bit late to talk about Z-day, the annual zombie event. I am doing a survey for an article for a regional newspaper on what well-performing regions had in common. So lets get to the questions:

How would you rate your region's Z-day performance, on a scale of 1 to 5?

Did you have something like central nuclear command, and did people follow it a lot?

How populous was your region last Z-day?

Any Additional Answers are welcome and needed ^-^

Goodbye and have a nice day!

-Somebody.

Brocklandia wrote:That phone number takes me to a recording of a breathless woman asking me to leave all my credit card numbers if I'm looking for a good time. I think I'll pass.

Oh, I think I gave you the wrong number. It's 1-800-GOODTIME. It's a very easy mistake to make.

Brocklandia wrote:Have you considered talking to a few dozen therapists about this pervading paranoia of yours?

You're talking to a television.

Mindon wrote:You're talking to a television.

Well, of course!--I enjoy the challenge of conversations that are well above my intellectual levels. That darn Sesame Street show is so stimulating.

Brocklandia wrote:Well, of course!--I enjoy the challenge of conversations that are well above my intellectual levels. That darn Sesame Street show is so stimulating.

Sure.... Sure...
*pulls out tablet, opens up profile for Brocklandia*
Let's just...
*lowers expected intelligence levels*
There we go.

Mindon wrote:Sure.... Sure...
*pulls out tablet, opens up profile for Brocklandia*
Let's just...
*lowers expected intelligence levels*
There we go.

When you get to the point that random drooling occurs, that's the right setting.

Brocklandia wrote:When you get to the point that random drooling occurs, that's the right setting.

...you weren't supposed to see that...
*places a 100 dollar bill on the bar*
Actually, you didn't see it. At all.

The weekend poetry contest is under way! This weekend, some undead penguins will be judging your poems.

Mindon wrote:...you weren't supposed to see that...
*places a 100 dollar bill on the bar*
Actually, you didn't see it. At all.

See what? If you put something down on the bar, somebody musta swiped it. Yeah, that's my story.

I'm back... for drinks
walks into the Bar and sits on a barstool

Brocklandia wrote:See what? If you put something down on the bar, somebody musta swiped it. Yeah, that's my story.

Yes. Nothing happened.
Nothing ever happened.
Let's move on now.

Mindon I just noticed you were here. Is anyone at the Bar?

Eripolis wrote:I'm back... for drinks
walks into the Bar and sits on a barstool

What would you like to drink?

«12. . .4,1344,1354,1364,1374,1384,1394,140. . .5,0685,069»

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