The Empire of Various Oil Rigs is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, deadly medical pandemics, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 322 million Rigspeople are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sealand. The average income tax rate is 15.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Rigsianese economy, worth 31.8 trillion oil barrels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 98,860 oil barrels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools, pet owners make sure their dogs wear diapers, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, and universities are populated by the spawn of the upper classes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Various Oil Rigs's national animal is the seagull, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Various Oil Rigs is ranked 72,763^rd in the world and 58^th in Sparkalia for Most Patriotic, with 19.3 flags saluted per person per day.