The United Nations of Opiachus is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Secretary-General Lee with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, otherworldly petting zoo, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 8.766 billion Opians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Industry, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Opiachus. The average income tax rate is 36.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Opian economy, worth a remarkable 1,153 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 131,588 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, sex-ed is child's play, and 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Opiachus's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Opiachus is ranked 280,551^st in the world and 27^th in Free Market Federation for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -10.62 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.