The Tropical Paradise of Great Tequila Island is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Holly Peña with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, disturbing lack of elderly people, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 11.383 billion Tequilans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loz Mezcaleros. The average income tax rate is 49.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tequilan economy, worth a remarkable 1,255 trillion ¥escas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 110,288 ¥escas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

The family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year, children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again, a third of Tequilans are e-certified CEOs, and Holly Peña's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Great Tequila Island's national animal is the Tequila Mockingbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Great Tequila Island is ranked 13,515^th in the world and 33^rd in International Democratic Union for Highest Food Quality, scoring 141.38 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.