The United Incorporated States of Laxoimia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Jonathan Bernhardt with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, aversion to nipples, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 12.717 billion Laxomese have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dellmoor. The average income tax rate is 76.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laxoimian economy, worth a remarkable 2,869 trillion Laxoimia Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 225,656 Laxoimia Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi, Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and agreeing to appear on TV is often the best way to access social care. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Laxoimia's national animal is the Laxoimia Flying Parrot Fish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Christianity.

Laxoimia is ranked 6,520^th in the world and 220^th in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 73 flags saluted per person per day.