The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory vegetarianism, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.457 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 12,946 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 551,921 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bigtopian relations have become a minefield, fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home, women wearing male lounge-wear are quizzed for hours by mental health practitioners, and the question of 'what is King Montebad II's favorite color?' has been given a priority rating of burnt-orange. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Mandaeism.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 285,909^th in the world and 6,282^nd in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -40.73 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.