The Fattest Citizens in Hapes Consortium
World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Holy Serene Republic of Ultrasoft | Civil Rights Lovefest | “Gotta do what you gotta do.” | |
| 2. |  The Irn-Bru Guzzling People of Zeontarg | Father Knows Best State | “Eat, sleep, sex and death” | |
| 3. |  The Sovereign Imperial Dominions of Shinaria | Left-Leaning College State | “¡Líik’ik Talokan!” |
