The Free Land of Dave Weldon is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its burgeoning Giraffe population. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 15.821 billion Dave Weldonians enjoy frequent elections, which are uniformly corrupted by big-spending corporations buying politicians who best suit their interests.

The tiny, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.4%.

The very strong Dave Weldonian economy, worth 973 trillion Platinums a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 61,555 Platinums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 188,038 per year while the poor average 15,618, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Dave Weldon's national animal is the Giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Dave Weldon is ranked 104,044^th in the world and 257^th in Memeland United for Highest Food Quality, scoring 22.31 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.