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Today's World Census Report
The Largest Furniture Restoration Industry in Wolfram and Hart
World Census analysts spend quiet weekends in the countryside in order to determine which nations have the largest Furniture Restoration industries.
As a region, Wolfram and Hart is ranked 5,236th in the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
|1.||The Oppressed Peoples of Wolfram and Hart Crime Scene Cleaners||Iron Fist Consumerists||“Where's that mop?”|
|2.||The Attorneys at Law of Wolfram and Hart||Father Knows Best State||“Attorneys at Law”|
|3.||The Drow Queendom of Zreach||Mother Knows Best State||“Arn Zareach´darn´Cathul za´Ylothan-Tyzr´d”|
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Wolfram and Hart Regional Message Board
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Greetings to NS's crack lawyering team! We're proud to announce the fresh publication of the fourth monthly issue of the Elparia Herald!
The Second Coup | A New Map | Post-Coup Trial | Chuukango-Trekan War | A Changing Elparia | Reconstruction in PyeMcGowan |
Sports Leagues Halt Play | Writing | Political Compass | Humor |
Reported By Volitopia
The Royal New Ducklands Geological and Cartographical Society (GCS) got a significant boost in funding this past month, so they were able to improve the quality of the maps and accurately sort out a few irregularities in regards to the map’s compatibility with smaller, nation-focused charts. Imperialist Trekan transport companies in particular are glad for the revisions.
“The previous world map of Treka was a mess”, laments one captain of the Trekan company Imperial Shipping, “the Lushka province was somehow landlocked, Pineland was several times larger than it should have been, …” and many other geographical gripes caused confusion on the seas surrounding the nation, impeding trade and causing a few run ins between commercial ships and Trekan naval vessels.
Disputes over the possession of various man made and natural islands were thankfully solved, particularly in the continents of Ilus and Ikaika (top right corner) and nations such as Volitopia, who have often had disputes with one of their neighbors over plots of land in the ocean.
However as of the end of March, the map is not yet finished (see thumbnail) with key nations like Fahran, Rophilus, and others absent from the map. However New Ducklands has mentioned that the final version of the political map is almost, if not entirely complete and will be out soon.
The GCS has also made note of certain geologic features within various nations, although the commision of a full geographic map of Elparia will only be considered farther down the line.
Some nations, however, are not too pleased with the changes. The cavian state’s Minister of Commerce said recently that, “We don’t use the New Duckian world map as our main reference point, given it changes every month with regards to landmasses and national borders”.
Hopefully the new map, with its high resolution (when viewing the original files) and individual side maps for continents can help alleviate some of these concerns and provide an accurate representation of Elparia.
Reported By Volitopia
Cold diplomacy and blockades have instead been the order of the day. 9 nations, including Corusconia, Fahran, and Volitopia have either declared military support for Imperialist Treka outright or have otherwise embargoed or hiked up tariffs on Chuukango’s exports.
Not to mention the rebels to the fascist regime who have seized, “6 Frigates, at least 3 higher classed ships… and an unknown amount weapon caches and ammunition from Confederate Military installations”, according to insider reports. They are currently estimated to be hundreds of loose bands of former Chuukangan soldiers roaming the southern coasts and central mountain ranges pillaging and burning government buildings and towns alike. They do not have any real organization as factional warfare between communist, democratic, and military deserter divisions of all stripes face uphill battles against the fascist regime and each other. Some theorize that a few rebels may have taken advantage of certain long-range communication beacons in Chuukango’s mountains in attempts to contact other nations, but many believe such rumors are unsubstantiated.
Kaiser Karl Volksburg exclaimed in a press conference last week that, “The tide of nations arriving to the defense of Treka’s massacred men on the Worcester and against the despicable tyranny of Chuukango will prevail!”.
The Trekans are massing for a massive and complete invasion of Chuukango, with industrial production and draft quotas being set, and football matches cancelled as hundreds of thousands of men are being trained to fight. But despite all the clouds of war gathering on the horizon, the other nations of Elparia carry on a peace of their own. Masimau, a neutral nation situated on a large island south of Chuukango, has remained at a business as usual level of military activity, with Volitopian and Chuukangan trade ships docking at the same wharfs to trade.
But with the international community and his own people stacked against him, Éric Brodeur’s regime is in dire straits with no apparent way out.
Reported By Volitopia
As he finally retook his seat as elected leader of Pyemcgowan, Gowan faced the difficult task of rebuilding a nation whose farmlands had been burned and sacked and its cities turned into bloodstained shells of their former glory. Firstly the president declared martial law to prevent the very real threat of another uprising, as the next plebiscite that would be held showed. The remnants of the PyeMcGowan Fascist Party still held strong in the outskirts of the nation, and many of their population voted “no” in the referendum which asked for a reformation of the government. But a 66% majority prevailed, and the nation held its new constitutional convention in Charleston shortly afterwards.
Weeks later, and the delegates from all 70 states and territories came up with a new constitution to replace the old democratic one that had been ceremonially destroyed by the fascist regime. The new document outlined the structure of a new PyeMcGowanian Union as a loose federation of republics representing every major province.
This was a welcome sign, as people were starting to get agitated once again at the military law which they felt was only slightly better than the previous government. Elections were held, and this displeasure was reflected in the results, with almost one seventh of the voting population electing representatives of various stripes that echoed the nationalist sentiments of the fascists.
However, a two-thirds moderate majority prevailed once again and parliament was both representative of the people and wouldn’t drive the nation into its own destruction as had happened under Chuukango’s establishment of a dictatorial regime.
President Harrison Davids, top candidate of the democratic coalition government formed after the ratifying of the second constitution won the election and took the mantle of Mr. Gowan’s office to steer his people back on the road to prosperity.
The nation of Pyemcgowan has seen a long night of fascist oppression, and be it that they are no longer in Elparia (space-time continuum fractures; don’t question them), all the freedom-loving peoples of our world wish them luck in greeting the dawn of liberty once again.
Reported By Volitopia
Imperialist Treka’s American Football League stopped play after the 4th day of games on February 25th, but the teams remain practicing even as Treka has had to temporarily cease games in the light of mobilizing for war against Chuukango.
New Ducklands's Club Football went under some reorganization about two weeks ago and admitted multiple new teams to the League. The manager also noted that custom team jerseys would be available down the road. Some point after the addition of new teams the dispatches for the Club had their ownership changed to the Elparian Club Football League, a puppet of New Ducklands. You can view all the same scores and statistics here.
A new face in the game of football is arising however, as less than a week ago the President of the Fahrani Football Federation, Ihsan al-Mukhtar, announced “Fahran will … host the first of what he hopes will become an annual tournament for the four strongest sides from every domestic league in the region of Elparia, with Elmarsa FC, Tirsana SC, Rumaiz United FC, and Al Khair FC representing Fahran”
The tournament has not officially been created yet, but Elparian sports fans are eager to see how this new tournament, and the ones that came before it, will turn out.
Reported By Volitopia
As the announcement delivered shortly after the coup explained, “... the government in exile have been planning to return Elparia to its former self … to return Elparia to the region it’s supposed to be”, referencing the “government in exile” as all those who were removed from office in the first coup.
Following this fateful announcement, there was much celebration from some members of the original government, while most of the population, including New Ducklands, Fahran, myself, and many others felt a somewhat passive relief. It was pretty clear there were strong tensions between a select few of the population bubbling under the surface following the first coup, but granted that the rest of the region did not go down in flames we tolerated these actions on different levels.
Rophilus, however, was not pleased. And our resident flame lord Imperialist Treka wasn’t pleased with him. I will not print some the things that were said over discord, lest the mods descend upon me for inappropriate content. It’s safe to say that over discord during the weeks following the second coup, Elparia witnessed its largest flame war.
“Not this again … ”, lamented Kubumba tribe.
Once the ashes had cooled somewhat, Aquias got around to answering some of the other questions concerning the coup, namely of Lily membership. The coup announcement had rounded out that, “With allies such as Lily, and HYDRA, Elparia will be a formidable region in NationStates … ”.
Lily is an interregional R/D organization which is formed from the militaries of its members and is overseen by Lily High Command, which organizes the raids that happen under its banner, and Elparia is one of its signatories.
Some members had issues with being a part of Lily, mostly centering around issues of military commitment and regional sovereignty. However Aquias has promised that, “We [Elparians will] pretty much operate on our own, except when Lily needs us … and only if we can help them; we won’t bend over backwards”.
Weeks later, and things are more or less back to normal. The ashes of the counter-coup have faded, and hopefully we may at least try to prolong this time of peace, by a proverb that has been said over and over in a myriad of forms; “It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up”.
Reported By Volitopia
However March 20th was the peak of post-coup tensions. Shortly after then-Foreign Affairs Minister Imperialist Treka’s unlawful expulsion of New trimania from discord, Treka’s deliverance of the saltiest flame of the time (over discord), and reported troubles with foreign ambassadors, then-Prime Minister Concordaia suspended Imperialist Treka from office for about a week. Just hours later the FA Minister resigned, “... I feel it’s best that I just leave”, he said in an announcement.
Not two days later, Elparia was hit by another loss of one of its government officials. Concordaia delivered a message (coded in Navajo) resigning from the office of Prime Minister and from NS, citing RL issues and the constant drama in Elparia. The decoded message can be viewed here (under the spoiler), and the original document can be found under the regional discord’s announcements. He has been greatly missed.
In a surprise meeting the cabinet named Minister of the Interior Volitopia as Temporary Prime Minister to serve out the rest of Concordaia’s term. One day after the Prime Minister’s resignation, Imperialist Treka resigned from NS and due to RL issues and NS drama, and expressed sorrow at any actions with which he may have harmed those in Elparia. Rophilus, Rampaging turtleducks, Holocron of revan, Beasttamer, Too too, and many others felt remorse for what we all had done in some way in the week prior. RMB page 722 a time when we all stopped, put aside our differences, and wondered how we got to this point. Shortly after contemplation, the cabinet appointed Holocron of revan to serve out the rest of Treka’s term and continue his work where necessary.
A second part of Concordaia’s original message was decoded sometime after, expressing a wish for Imperialist Treka to be named the next PM after his leave, but after some discussion between cabinet and Treka, he declined the offer.
A fourth and final unexpected resignation arrived in late March, with Minister of Polls and Demographics Fahran taking leave of her duties in an announcement, “I wanted to announce that I would be resigning from my position as Minister of Culture and Polls in order to give another member of our region the opportunity to take part in government in an official capacity. While I'll no longer hold office, I will continue to remain an active member of Elparia. … I will also be submitting recommendations for citizenship, graphs detailing demographic data, and fulfilling all other promises I made when I assumed this office”. The Minister had indeed fulfilled all her promises while in office and now left the position for someone new to take the reins, who was appointed after some cabinet discussion to be Rophilus.
The previous month has been the most monumental, most vile and most heartfelt time in Elparia. When we nearly broke our community through infighting, yet lived on to see its reconstruction into something greater.
Reported By Volitopia
Despite all this, Imperialist Treka decided to continue to press charges, and Rophilus continued to point out that, “I have absolutely zero confidence that a fair trial will take place”, citing, “The majority of the government is against me”. Despite the fact that an overwhelming majority of the government, including most of the cabinet and the Prime Minister, shared the viewpoint of the Head Judiciary and Minister of Defense.
The trial finally happened on the 17th of March, with Treka as plaintiff, Rophilus as defendant, and Chuukango as Judge. Treka’s charges on the defendant were disturbing the peace, treason, and corruption, evidenced by a particular flame war in January when Roph flamed him, the actions taken during the first coup, and suppressing anti-greek jokes on the RMB that were far from warranting suppression, respectively. Rophilus responded (in order) that the case of flaming had been addressed by the mods already, that the morality of the coup was subjective based on who you asked, and he was expressing his own freedom of speech. After some discussion within the court, Rophilus admitted that he had “no idea” that only nations with NS authorities could suppress posts. The trial ended and Chuukango convened with Neo-Georgiria to discuss a verdict, which came within a few hours.
“Following consideration, Judiciaries Chuukango and Neo-Georgiria have found Rophilus guilty of Disturbing the Peace, 415PC (a), and bar him from being considered for the Judge role until the next election cycle. He will also be ejected, though not banned and can rejoin immediately thereafter (this is due to a slight flaw in the first revision of the penal code)”.
When asked on his thoughts about the trial, Neo-georgiria simply replied, “I just wish we can get the quirk ejection out of the penal code. That’s it”. And just around the time of the verdict that clause in Elparia’s Penal Code was amended.
The cavian state hoped that since “Justice is done; hopefully we can leave this Coup business behind us all”. Treka was surprised but not entirely displeased, “I think he should've been found guilty of the others … but at least he was punished”.
Rophilus told the Elparia Herald that,“Before the trial began, I had no faith in Elparia’s criminal justice system … How wrong could I have been; the trial went extremely smoothly, and everything was handled extremely fairly. I also felt the punishment given to me by the judges was well suited. Most importantly, this trial strengthened my faith that a fair trial was possible in Elparia.”
Reported By Volitopia
Reported By Volitopia
This fun little experiment was the first of its kind in Elparia, and while Fahran was still Minister of Polls and Demographics, she sent out an Elparian demographics survey for general curiosity and possible citizenship considerations. Lately there have been a few sporadic citizen-made fill outs for RP and such as well. Such things are not as much “creativity” per se, yet the demographics of a population is an interesting look into its culture, from which creativity takes inspiration from and grows.
All Aboard the Disappointment Train!
Current state of affairs in Elparia:
Coup v2, wars and reconstruction in both RP and regional government, and more writing and humor than ever before!
Please read and drop an upvote if you enjoy it!
Hello once again to W&H! We’re proud to announce the publication of the fifth monthly issue of the Elparia Herald!
Sports, the story of our Constitution hot off the presses, poetry, and more!
Constitutional Reforms | Summer Olympics | Elparian Football League | The USUC - Peace at Last |
A Map Revived | Treka-Chuukangan War | Writing | Lily Membership | Humor | + Special Report |
Reported By The cavian state
The season opener back on April 9th between Arirean Paisley FC taking on a strong Cavian side, Oscar Palace, was the only match played before another time-out was called on the season, which would continue until April 23rd.
That day saw four matches on the ECFL’s second opening day, with both Rophisilian teams taking to the pitch. Rigeta and Tooshishville sank to 2-3 and 0-3 to Kingston and Carnsby respectively. A close match between W&SU versus The City FC ended in a tight 3-4 scoreline, scoring the match winner in stoppage time. April 24th saw ECFL and Cavian heavyweight Oscar Palace thrash five past Rebellion FC in a 5-1 victory. April 25th also saw more clubs face-off for their first matches of the season, as the Volitopian squad FC Cosa remarkably scored 6 in a one-sided match against Hartsburg. Volgaskaya earned their first win with a win against Ottawa. Holocronian champions Mandalorian completed a 2-1 victory against W&SU without use of the Force.
Carnsby and Korusberg’s match on April 26th saw the first use of a penalty shootout in the ECFL, whose rules state that after 90 minutes regulation time, if the score is even, 30 minutes of extra time will be played. After that will be a set of five penalty kicks per team. If a team gains an unbeatable advantage, they win. If the penalties are inconclusive, another round of penalties will be taken. After a hard-fought 2-2 draw in extra time, both sides converted a full set of kicks to make the score 5-5. However, Korusberg missed their final penalty in the second set to make the total score 10-9 on penalties in a match where football was the real winner.
The following day, a Rophisilian club, Tooshishville, picked up their first win, in a 3-1 win over Rebellion. FC Cosa lost 2-1 to Breslau, and Oscar Palace defeated FC Rigeta in a close 1-0 match.
The last matches to be played before the May break ended on April 29th, with Seracohw rising to see off Rebellion 4-2. The latter side have failed to gain a single point in four matches. Mochiville picked up a surprise victory on penalties against fellow Cavian side Oscar Palace, which saw Palace lose their first ECFL match in the regular season. Carnsby continued their good run of form with a convincing 3-0 win at Mandalorian.
ECFL matches are set to continue after the new Elparian Olympics, or EISO are complete. The fixture list sees Cosa at Tooshishville, Ottawa at Oscar Palace, Paisley at the City, and W&SU at Volgoskaya.
The current standings are surprising to few. Oscar Palace, about which we have issued a special report just below, have played four and won three for a total of nine points to top the table. They are joined by Paisley and Mandalorian. Korusberg is on eight points and Kingston on seven. Looking at the bottom of the table, five sides are still winless in the league. These sides are Rebellion, Ottawa, W&SU, Hartsburg, and Oktoberskaya.
It is still all to play for in the ECFL as the race to the top continues to rage on. The regular season ends June 21st, at which point the playoffs begin.
Reported By Volitopia
Just shy of a week before the opening ceremony, EISO announced that the port city of Qhor in Fahran would be hosting the first Elparian Olympics thanks to its warm weather and readily available room for development of olympic facilities.
They also announced the pruning of bowling from the list, given its lack of “olympic-level qualities”, according to the Committee. Wakeboarding, along with a few other sports, were under consideration for removal, but only bowling fans walked away dissatisfied.
The first day of the olympic games began on the 11th of May, with Corusconian athletes leading the pack with all their 4 gold, 2 silver, and 2 bronze medals from multiple cycling events. To see all other national medal winners for that day, click here. And to see the full and updated rankings visit the website.
Most nations were looking forward to today’s round of olympic events with Kayaking and Canoeing next in line, but the government of New russia the 3 denounced the games after only winning one bronze in Men’s Badminton on the first day, citing “cheating and biased judging” of competitors from communist nations, as well as alleged doping and bribery by the Corusconian athletes.
The Elparian summer olympic games are scheduled to continue every day until the 21st of May, with 64 more sport categories to watch and over two hundred medals to win.
Reported By Volitopia
Chief among these is the Rose Front, an association of rebel groups looking to restore the socialist Communally Federated States of Chuukango that had existed before the election of dictator Éric Broudeur. They are believed to harbor the majority of the old government and military defectors from the fascist regime, and have since engaged in sabotaging multiple rail lines and even a forward operating base.
Meanwhile, on the Ersatz-class Conrusconian ship Worcester, Admirals and Generals from Imperialist Treka, Corusconia and its protectorate New Trimainia, Holocron of revan, Fahran, the Chuukangan Rose Front, and Volitopia (who although not officially in the war has publicly denounced and embargoed the fascist regime and is offering tactical support to the allies) met and discussed battle plans. It was on those decks that an assassination attempt on renowned Revanian general Augusta Ureda was carried out and nearly succeeded, had it not been for New Trimainian medical technologies. The first Rose Front emissary sent had his family captured back at home, and was threatened with the torture and execution of his family if he did not kill every general aboard the ship. After the first incident was found out, he was promptly turned to swiss cheese by Corusicanian Admiral of the Kriegsmarine Erika Sädler’s submachine gun. Some time later and skipping over the many personal dramas aboard the ship, President Éric Broudeur of the Fascist Confederation of Chuukango himself arrived aboard the ship for negotiations, and after hours of shouting matches between the generals the President was finally forced to sign an official document of surrender before being handed over the the Rose Front. Despite the surrender and capture of Broudeur, parts of Chuukango remain under fascist rule, refusing the surrender as illegitimate. The ship has since docked in Treka and been given to the Imperial navy as a gift from the Kriegsmarine.
In international news of the conflict, on April 9th, the nation of Arirean declared support for Imperialist Treka against Chuukango. This action was immediately followed by mass riots in the capital of Alnwick and major cities, including Brillo. Protesters armed with AK-47s and other weapons fired on police, looting stores and destroying buildings and prompting the establishment of curfew and authorization of the use of violent force against protestors. Embassies in Arirean were temporarily closed, and since the riots have cooled, the Brillo Museum of Modern Art has had to renovate its East Wing exhibits, having lost 2 million pounds sterling to multiple molotovs. It is unclear how the violent rioters were able to obtain such weaponry, although Chuukangan funding of the Arirean fascist organization The Black Hand is suspect.
A week later, once the riots had subsided to manageable levels the Arirean Ministry of Defense renewed its contract with the HeLO company. The capacity of their “anti-aircraft vehicles, ATGM's, tank destroyers, and much more” is to be greatly expanded amidst growing worldwide tensions. Despite military buildup, foreign affairs Minister Spencer Brown maintains that “Arirean will only seek to provide humanitarian aid to Trekan combatants and provide safe passage if necessary”.
[Footnote: The reported events which happened on the Ersatz-Worcester were obtained from a private RP discord server run by Imperialist Treka for the occasion, and although he has allowed us to report on some of the events, he has asked that the Herald does not publish the invite]
Reported By Volitopia
“All in favor”, Imperialist Treka proclaimed, “of making [our nation Elparia’s] mapper say aye”. Distaste at lack of improvement, constant changes, and shifting excuses had finally reached its boiling point.
After just a few days, the new map was finally released on April 13th on the regional website under the Arirean Royal Cartography Service (a puppet of New Ducklands). Initial skepticism at this being simply yet another iteration of ever-changing, never improving maps faded away a few weeks later.
ARCS quickly established a streamlined process for filing land claims and settling territorial disputes, as well as fully downloadable versions of each map in all their glory. The Cartography Service’s team of historians were also able to finally place agreed-upon names for each continent and major body of water, as well as arranging for individual nations on the map to be able to request and receive higher-resolution maps of their individual nations; which they can then independently mark and have featured at the bottom of the website page. Arirean and Imperialist Treka have already done so, but requests from Aquias, Chuukango, and Volitopia for their national maps have not yet been given their files.
After a hefty cash injection from investors glad to see uniform cartography at last (and bleeding the now defunct GCS of all funds), the geological team of ARCS was able to successfully partner with local mining and drilling corporations to provide a full map of Elparia’s largest mineral and otherwise abiotic natural resources.
Trekan observers have since noted with considerable interest the previously untapped densities of oil in the Trekan Sea, particularly in the area that is fully under the control of Holocron of revan. All options are still on the table for Revanian and Trekan investors, but possibilities of lowered tariffs or mutual governance have recently gone out of the spotlight, given the crash in oil prices following the discovery of abnormally large oil and natural gas reservoirs across the world.
Military analysts, however, are less worried about the cheapening of fuel but more so about the newly uncovered deposits of Uranium, Plutonium, and similar nuclear-ready elements that could be sold for drastically cheaper prices to terrorists and militaristic governments on the international black market.
Meanwhile, the Arirean Royal Cartography Service has since been experimenting with newer mapping systems and testing their capabilities. The organization has made known collaboration with multiple satellite companies for a pilot project to map out the full 3D glory of our globe terrain and has successfully uploaded a formatted view of the rotating globe (scroll all the way down on the website homepage). However the Service emphasizes that proper rendering of the terrain will take large amounts of time and resources - so no promises yet.
Reported By The cavian state
Founded in 1911 as an amateur club, the side joined Cavian Division One in 1917, winning its first title in 1920. They haven’t looked back since. With 18 cups and 33 leagues in the trophy cabinet, as well as continental and international honours, the side, which any loyal supporter will tell you, has royal DNA.
The club turned professional in 1915 with help of the crown’s Porciis in the form of a Royal Charter. The club gained its current home ground, Royalty Stadium, through this agreement.
In the present day, the club is just as prominent and, well, rich, as its early 20th-century self. The club last won The cavian state's Super League in the 2014-15 season, and currently sits first in the table with 98 points, five ahead of fierce cross-town rivals Mochiville Football. They have two matches to play and just one point in their coming fixtures will likely be enough to lift the trophy for a 34th time.
Kit man and life-long supporter Dean Scotts explains the passion behind the club. “Now, my grandfather was actually club captain in 1927,” says the 56-year-old. “and that season he led the club to their fourth league title. As a legendary goalkeeper he’s still remembered by those who saw him play, and although he’s definitely not a true club legend, I think that without him this club’s history would have been different.” Dean’s grandfather retired in 1945 after nineteen years with the club, sadly passing away in 2016.
“Obviously, this meant that my father was and is a lifelong Palace supporter. And that meant that I was to be one as well. That’s led me to where I am today. I feel really grateful to have a job with this club that’s such a part of my life, and, in a way, it’s also maybe how I’ve commemorated my grandfather as well.”
Any Cavian, Palace supporter or not, knows this man- Roger Williams. With 75 appearances for his country, at just the age of 26, Williams has notched 56 goals for the national side. Come international matchday, club supporters throw aside their differences and support Williams, already considered by many as a national hero.
“When I got the call from [Oscar Palace manager] Jonathan Ranton that he wanted to offer me a contract, I was ecstatic.” recalls Williams. “At the time I think I was… 16? I was in the youth academy of Brenton Town(a club in the third tier of Cavian football) and I had been released. I thought it was over for my career in football. But Oscar Palace of all clubs! They had just won the title that year, in the 08/09 season. When I signed in 2010 we had just won the Animalian Club Cup- meaning we were best in the world! A big deal…”
The next year, 2011, was Williams’s break out season. Scoring 18 goals in all competitions(including the winner in the Silver Club Cup final), Oscar Palace won their first and so far only treble. “That was my first year, and it was our best year.” comments Williams. “Hopefully that’s not my best. I think we can strive for and achieve more.”
Oscar Palace is truly a club steeped in history, with true connections with many people. It really has become a large part of Oscar City metro life, becoming a club that many around the world know- and love.
Reported By Volitopia
It was a mess, and after several major governmental inconsistencies showed its flaws, Ducklands spearheaded a bill to rewrite the Constitution (read the full story here). Some progress was being made, but then all governmental activities halted because of The Coup. The project was abandoned for months, and Elparia was left without a single set of laws to follow. Sometime in February, New Ducklands created a Constitution in the hopes that it would revive the populace’s desire to reform, but Ducky failed to advertise his motions, and thus got little recognition besides having his work pinned under the WFE.
Despite this, because it was not ratified or reviewed by more than a couple of nations, it continued to be a “skeleton document”, whose general ideas were referenced in forming the government structure, but all specifics, like citizenship, legality of certain actions, and the like, continued to be made on the fly. Constitutional reform continued to be pushed back on the priorities of the regional government for months. However, some steps to legal restructuring were being taken. On March 20th, following a post-coup trial, the Elparian Penal Code developed by Chuukango in early January, got an update.
Then the Second Coup came, and about a week later, new Prime Minister Concordaia and several other government officials resigned (read the full story here). The government was able to restabilize, and Volitopia was named Prime Minister by the cabinet as a replacement.
Days after he got the appointment, the Prime Minister announced a Constitutional Convention, for all interested Elparians to submit Constitutions by the 29th and then hold a referendum. It failed. Two weeks and a cabinet meeting later, Volitopia announced the 12-Day Constitution Plan, which was intended to identify exactly who would be writing a Constitution, and get one chosen by the end of April 16th. Once again, tackling a month-long issue in two weeks failed without extreme pressure to draft constitutions being made on the submitees. Aquias, Holocron of revan, Fahran, and Rophilus had all stepped forward to draft Constitutions, and since the first two already had them done by the deadline, the region waited for about a month for the other submissions.
However on May 9th, Head Judiciary Chuukango, “took 40 minutes and finished a Constitution”, and began to push for a referendum. Reminders about the original Constitutional Plan were given to him, and a cabinet meeting was assembled. Cabinet voting was still in progress with 3 in favor of immediate referendum, 1 against, 2 under consideration, and 1 non-appearance, when Minister of Foreign Affairs Holocron of revan, by accident or instruction published the Constitutional Referendum Poll. 18 hours later, Minister of Polls Rophilus took the poll down, citing the lack of government majority and sudden action. Of course, an argument began between Rophilus and Chuukango, the latter calling the removal “a spit in the eye of progress”, and calling for the Poll’s Minister’s resignation or impeachment. One day later, the referendum reopened, and although the debate continued, the poll was not taken down. The first Constitutional Referendum has since passed, and after half a year of struggle and apathy, Elparia has a new, complete, and democratic Constitution.
Reported By Volitopia
So in early April, New russia the 3 agreed with New Ducklands to consider merging into Elparia, because after all, the constant alterations of war and peace in the USUC was, in Ducky’s words, “useless”. NR3 wanted several things from the merger, including clearing the ban list of previous USUC spies, equal opportunities participate in RPs and the political system for him and his communist friends, and generally being recognized and integrated into Elparian society. Elparia’s government, in return, asked that they no longer cause such disturbances of the peace or break the region’s laws, and besides that, they were free to do what they wished, including start a communist party, which they had emphasized during the merger but have not yet announced its official creation.
Both governments agreed to the settlement, and on April 15th, New russia the 3 finally moved to Elparia, and the rest of his region followed. Their population has since been fully integrated into the region, and an rivalry so old it lost all meaning has ended this April.
Reported By Volitopia
On the 5th of April, Please understand of Pagan Rose said he was closing embassies with Elparia based on Elparia’s Lily membership, while Elparian government officials pointed out that in earlier posts he had mentioned he was closing because of our region’s size relative to theirs. As Fahran said, “this sounds like more of an excuse in light of comments by their regional officials”.
Their embassy has since remained open, by request from other Pagan Rose officials. Although no severing of diplomatic ties has occurred with other regions for the actual purpose of being a Lily member, it has sometimes been noted by foreign governments in a negative manner, but never put forward as a main reason for their displeasure.
Considering our region’s inactivity within military matters, some Elparians have asked; what’s the point of being in Lily? Their activity as a R/D organization has and is bound to bring about controversy with foreign governments, and as Elparia has neither used nor needed its services, why remain a part of Lily? Besides “scaring away foreign relations”, being a part of a raider organization can have effects on recruitment numbers, as often times new players fall into a mindset of raiding on NS being intrinsically bad.
However, as Aquias and others have pointed out, Lily does both raids and defends, and doesn’t pressure its members to serve or obey a certain ideological code. There are far worse regions to be affiliated with, such as fascists, large regions who are corrupt or abuse their power on the foreign affairs stage, and many others. Point is, as raider organizations are, Lily is far from being noted among the worst.
If you are not within the minority of nations enlisted in our military (that once again, with or without Lily, has done no raiding), Elparia’s military membership, “does not affect you”, said Aquias, who signed Elparia onto Lily.
Lily does not force its members to raid or do anything at all (source: Elparia is still a part of the organization), and foreign concerns over Lily have not been of great importance within diplomatic relations. And if Elparians choose to get in the R/D sphere of NS, Lily can provide good teammates and protection from aggression. The organization has been growing in achievement among the R/D circles of NS, reaching 848 hits from the 5th to the 14th of April and gaining a total of over 1000 tagged embassies (dubbed Operation Supernova).
Although being a part of Lily comes at a price, that price for Elparia has not driven us to leave, and should our citizens choose to get involved in raiding, they would have a valuable ally.
Reported By Volitopia
Thus, the Tribunal for Public Safety(TPS) was founded. Not so much a tribunal as tribunals were concerned(better described as a kangaroo court, or even better, a secret police) it is safe to say the TPS is a permanent blemish on Cavian freedom, democracy, and equality.
As far as Ducky was concerned, it wasn’t his day to die. No, no, far from it, actually.
He had just finished walking out the door of an Oscar City coffee shop, when, just a kilometer away, a TPS Officer had just finished his report on the recent bombing that took eighteen Cavian lives in a crowded subway station six days before.
The real culprit was still at large, meaning Ducky was completely innocent, but this particular Officer had spent just three months in the force, and the public was screaming for justice so- needless to say, there was no time for double-checking.
“There.” said TPS Surveillance Lieutenant Jacob Whitestone blankly. “He’s right there. Just exited the Coffee Grind Brew House. I’m sure of it,” the officer said blandly as his supervisor nearby picked up the telephone.
“Hello?” he spoke. “Dispatch station? We got a guy on Fifth and Waterway. Send out two... no, three squad cars. Plainclothes. Don’t want more attention than we’ve got now from those blooming civil rights hippies...”
Then, twenty seconds later, the TPS Centre garage doors folded outward to make way for three normal looking cars. One sedan, one SUV, and one van. They drove hurriedly towards Fifth and Waterway, screeching at the intersection.
They found their target. Ducky adjusted his jacket and stepped off the sidewalk...
Before he knew it, two officers had put a sack over his head, roughly throwing him into the back of the sleek, black van. The screen of pedestrians had hidden their illicit activities far from suspecting eyes.
It was another quick drive back to the station, where Ducky was hastily seated before three men clad in dark suits.
A single light hung from the ceiling of the damp, manky room they had convened in. Then, the man sitting in the center began to speak.
“Sir, do you know why you’re here?”
Ducky turned his head away meekly, and the man let out a short grunt.
“I’m going to ask you again- why do you think you’re here?” His tone was not so drab this time- there was a strain of impertinence.
Again silence. Then like a whip cracking- the man struck Ducky across the face, recoiling in a mixture of pain, terror, and sheer, livid rage.
“DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE HERE?!” he yelled.
“I- I don’t know...” he replied quickly.
“Take him away, I knew he wouldn’t sing. And- you listen here...” The pair of men turned Ducky back toward the door. “For a terrorist, you’re far too soft.” he sneered.
Another man entered the room, handing him a series of papers labeled ‘Execution Order’. He scrawled his signature across it and slid them across the table. “Make it quick.” he muttered.
The two men marched Ducky down a flight of stairs. There, they removed his blindfold. At that moment, he saw a line of five men all sporting rifles.
“No... NO! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!!!” he yelled. It was no use. They were far from any New Duckian ambassador, far from any embassy or safe house...
The men loaded the cartridges into the rifles. “Remember, one shot and it’s over.” the executioner said, in an almost sympathetic voice.
“Any last words?” he called out gruffly to Ducky, tying him to a bullet-ridden wooden pole.
“This can’t be happening...”
The body slouched against the ropes. All five men achieved their target.
The body was disposed of carefully in a government incinerator. He was never heard from again.
Followers of our publications will remember last issue when we showcased the productions of Antillica’s play, Princess Antonia. If you haven’t read the previous episodes yet, we recommend you do so, or you’ll miss out on some great storytelling. However, it is with great dismay we have to inform our readers that Antillica has not yet produced any further episodes after their season one finale and Q/A (see spoiler down below). Hopefully the playwright of Elparia will continue their stories soon!
Some intriguing pieces of romantic poetry have also been made this April as well, courtesy of two 9th century Fahrani poets.
We hope you enjoyed reading Elparia’s choice stories and poetry!
*It gets better the more of Derptingtonn's stats you read
Such Elparia has been, such Elparia is now, and such Elparia will remain to be until the server shutdown of NS
Please read and leave an upvote if you enjoyed it!
A young and up-and-coming new lawyer enters the office's lobby, briefcase in one hand, folded umbrella in the other, and approaches the receptionist
Good morning. I have an interview scheduled with one of the junior associates.
**Sends over a basket of pastries, muffins, jam, butter, strawberries, and Hershey's kisses**
Merry Christmas from our region to yours!
**Sends a large tray of homemade Christmas cookies**