by Max Barry

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World Census Turmoil!

by Max Barry
Wed, 10 Feb 2016

When you think of the World Census, you probably imagine a faceless bureaucracy of bean-counters and pencil-pushers. Because that's exactly what they are. Sure, once a day, they manage to publish a global ranking of nations on some scale or another, but no-one knows which one they'll choose, and if you miss it, it's gone.

Well, there's change in the air! After an allegedly bloodless coup, the World Census is nearing the end of a major modernization, with the old-timers pushed out, hungry new talent rising to the top, and pencils and beans being replaced by tablets in the cloud.

What does this mean for your nation? Plenty. Rumor has it that the new World Census will offer:

  1. New scales. Many rankings had their scoring metrics revamped to introduce more real-world data, such as crimes per hour and atheism rates, and a few new ones have been added, including Highest Foreign Aid, Economic Output (GDP), and Average Incomes.

  2. Live rankings. No longer must you wait months to find out where you sit in the world for Largest Basket Weaving Industry, Nicest Citizens, or Nudest! All nations will be able to see where they rank on every scale at once.

  3. Historical tracking. What was your crime rate last week? You'll know. Because there will be a chart.

  4. Regional trophies. Regions that rank among the top in the world for religiousness, tax rates, corruption, or anything else will be graced with appropriate icons. And, as with nations, you'll be able to see where regions rank on all global scales. And their historical performance will be tracked graphically.

The World Census is cloaked in secrecy, of course, and no-one knows exactly who's in charge, but I for one tip my hat to it. It says a lot to me that even those who stood up and opposed the change in the beginning haven't been heard from since, nor seen. Sounds like progress!