by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in Valaryia

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Valaryia is ranked 15,112th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Matriarchy of TsatsakkhCorporate Bordello“Pcatt Ever”
2.The Incorporated Duchies of AratazesCapitalist Paradise“[FOR SALE AT ARATAZES.GOV/MOTTOPRICINGS]”
3.The Military Junta of Valaryian BurvenchkahtIron Fist Consumerists“Die for your country, or die for Nothing”
4.The Incorporated States of McMahoniaCorporate Police State“The world can join the kiss my ass club.”
5.The Federation of ExodosFather Knows Best State“La People Anda Activa Allá En Culiacán”
6.The Free Land of Amare HominesAnarchy“Freedom Above Tyranny”
7.The Soviet Socialist Republic of ZtranaCorporate Bordello“Sons of the Winter, Tamers of the Tundra.”
8.The Republic of TjyNew York Times Democracy“God, Homeland, Liberty”
9.The United Kingdom of SterilusAnarchy“Historia a victoribus scripta est”
10.The Federation of Ding Trea NedberinlaCapitalist Paradise“Strength Through Compliance”
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