by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The Axis of Evil

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Axis of Evil is ranked 265th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Mafian Economic Extremist of The Dark SystemCompulsory Consumerist State“Money, Power, Respect!”
2.The ELF-Eladen Elite Elven Envoy of Evil IncarnateCompulsory Consumerist State“Exporting Evil Since 2002”
3.The Little Brotherhood of The Real MatrixCorporate Police State“Guns. Lots of guns.”
4.The Zombie Nukers of Look at meCorporate Police State“EVIL”
5.The Corporate Empire of Ku Unget ShingCompulsory Consumerist State“Lay off the Genshin Impact or I’m gonna tell uncle Hank”
6.The Empire of Bloody ReichCompulsory Consumerist State“Our timber is to die for, literally”
7.The Glorious Free State of AdamkhaziaCorporate Police State“The glorious regime has made us prosperous!”
8.The Nuke Worshippers of AsukafariIron Fist Consumerists“Have you heard the Word? Legalize Herb”
9.The Queendom of AstrunIron Fist Consumerists“Do What I Say Or I'll Bite You”
10.The Big Yellow Star Capitalists of MoneystanCivil Rights Lovefest“Let's kill the big bad bunnies”
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